Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
