They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
