Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
