Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
