When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
