this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
