You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
