Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize