I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
