I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
