hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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