she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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