You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize