mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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