im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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