there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There's a naked man in my car right now.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
