only if we run a train.
done.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
did i just pee glitter
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
