READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize