I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
