There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
