I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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