4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
