new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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