i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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