I can tuck mytits in my pants
You can't motorboat a personality
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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