oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
