hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
