shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You are a genius and a whore.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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