She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
