There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
