i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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