Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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