I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
