i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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