Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
