$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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