I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
