do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
