So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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