9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
