Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
