My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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