you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
