We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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