He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Enjoy the penises
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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