he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
