im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
