I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
and i looked up. we had an audience...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
