I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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