Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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