grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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