Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
babies were throwing up all over the place
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
