all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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