Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
