apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
