If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
