dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
tell me about the eggs
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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