oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
