you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Come on in and take your pants off
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