Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize