I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I FOUND THE LEGS
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
